[Previous entry: "Standup Philosopher"] [Next entry: "Pointless Filler #27"]

12/17/2009: "Great Men of Science"

In the last half of 1993, my selections for this super kids' science book seemed more infamous than famous; so I envisioned a darker section of the book called the "Scientists of Doom Club".

Great Men Of Science, Part 13
-----------------------------
Nitroglycerin was unstable and kind of lame.
Dynamite had kick and gave Nobel his fame.
To Alfred's regret, it was soon used to kill.
His Peace Prize paid off society's bill.

This left his wife, Becky, homeless and poor.
She used her straight hair as a man-trapping lure.
She hid dynamite in their pate foie gras,
Kept their money secure in her well-padded bra.


Great Men Of Science, Part 14
-----------------------------
Gatling made a gun that used a rotating crank.
It was best used in wars, not in robbing a bank.
He was already rich from his steam powered plow.
He could kill all your neighbors, then harvest their chow!


Great Men Of Science, Part 15
-----------------------------
Oppenheimer was the leader of the A-bomb team.
He hung out with commies and listened to Cream.
All those years at Berkeley must have messed with his head.
Near the end, he would only eat warm cheese on stale bread.


Great Men Of Science, Part 16
-----------------------------
The V-2 rocket was made for long range killing.
Wernher Von Braun was both eager and willing.
He spent many years creating and designing
At the lab where he couldn't hear his little kids' whining.

More than forty-three hundred were launched in the big world war.
German merchants let Wernher have anything in the store.
He picked up babes at the HaufsBrau by offering to show them his rocket.
Wernher said, "Though we lost, life is good. Who would knock it?"


Great Men Of Science, Part 17
-----------------------------
Some gots to die to pay for their crime.
It used to be messy: all that blood, gore and grime.
But Dr. Guillotin of France took their heads off real quick.
Just for fun, crooks went free when the blade thingy'd stick.

It was handy and useful, this guillotine tool.
You could cut tin cans with it which was really quite cool.
It required no power and amused young and old.
Order now while you can. They'll soon all be sold.



Parts 1-4
Parts 5-7
Parts 8-12