dlog
Cooper: Diane, last night I dreamed I was eating a large, tasteless gumdrop, and awoke to discover I was chewing on one of my foam disposable earplugs. Perhaps I should consider moderating my nighttime coffee consumption. 
                        -- "Twin Peaks"


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16 Oct 2005
Let's see how this works out. I'm going to stop updating this -- but leave it here -- and start updating over here , with a blog-looking interface.

15 Oct 2005
	L is for Lost, in a deep sea of doubt.
	O is for Opportunities that never work out.
	S is for Silence -- and Screams in the night.
	E is for the End.  It's nowhere in sight.
	R is for Refuge.  Keep looking, it's not there.
	S is for Shut up.  Did you think I really care?
And I thought I was cynical. Whoever wrote that puts me to shame. But isn't that how it always is. Now matter how whatever you are, there are always a million people that can outdo you.

11 Oct 2005
I just watched a tape of the Street Scenes skit (20 minutes) I was in last winter. I'm so goofy. The best part of it was this weird a capella song tacked onto the end of the tape written and performed by the skit's writer and some of her friends called "Minority Friends". If I saw myself having as much fun as they appear to be having, I'd assume I must have been drunk. But anyway, the whole thing was interesting enough to make me wish I had recordings of some of my bigger shows, for an extended Dan marathon. Besides Street Scenes, I do have a tape made (from way, way up in the audience) of "Cinderella", which was kind of a small part, and a DVD of "Sweeney Todd", when I was just in the chorus. But none of my bigger roles, like in "Mousetrap" or "Babes In Toyland". Having those in nicely edited formats would be kind of cool. Still, we've always got our memories. Just the way we like to remember things.

28 Sep 2005
Is it too soon to look at the new tv season? I wish I had something insightful to say, but here's at least a list of what's on my TiVO. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, there's only one non-animated comedy. It doesn't seem like too much tv to me. Because it isn't. Now, if I had regular adult responsibilities, I might not have the time, but I don't. So I do. Besides, I'll bet your kids watch more than I. And they've got homework that's due tomorrow!
Plus, whenever they start up again, I won't want to miss 24, Deadwood, or The Sopranos.

22 Sep 2005
Show cancelled on account of no audience? Wow. There were a couple people, friends of the director. But he gave us the option of not doing the show and having his friends come back another night. Only two of us seemed to be in favor of going ahead with it. Everyone else seemed pretty excited to get the night off. Which I can appreciate. But at the same time, I don't look at this as a burden or obligation. I want to do it as much as possible. If I start looking forward to a show ending, or getting a night off, then I'd have to ask myself why bother doing it. It's not as if it's paying the bills or providing a stepping stone to future glory or anything. But I'm sure there are as many good reasons for wanting to cancel tonight's show as there are cast members. There just aren't any good reasons for me.

19 Sep 2005
Sept. 2005 marks the official release of the first album from Ancient Order Of The Killer Owl. You can download the songs, convert them to wav files and burn CDs, or play them on your computer.

Two more weekends of "And Then There Were None", but rehearsals have already started for my next show, "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown". I'm Schroeder.

10 Sep 2005
Come one, come all, to see Agatha Christie's classic tale, "Ten Little Indians". Opening night is this coming Friday. Tickets available at the door: $20.


05 Sep 2005
Was that you I saw waving at me during today's Zion Jubilee Days parade? I was "marching" with the WCP contingent. Hey, thanks for coming out.

02 Sep 2005
So the governor of Louisiana is shocked -- shocked! -- and deeply offended that the Speaker of the House of Representatives questioned the wisdom of rebuilding New Orleans. Whether that opinion is right or wrong, it certainly seems like a valid option for consideration. What, differing viewpoints aren't allowed? Obviously some people can't approach rebuilding unemotionally or dispassionately. But if you can, the geography of New Orleans -- below sea level, surrounded by large bodies of water that are normally above sea level (the Mississippi and Lake Pontchartrain), vulnerable to hurricanes, built on muddy silt -- seems like a questionable spot for a large metropolis. Sure, they can argue that New Orleans has been there for hundreds of years without something like this happening, but the risk was always there. Even during the slightest drizzle New Orleans has to run pumps to keep the flood at bay. They could just be throwing billions of federal dollars down the drain. All that financial support only encourages rebuilding in places where there shouldn't be large cities in the first place. Over and over people rebuild in Florida, because the money pours in after disasters. But it doesn't prevent future disasters. If you want to live in a swampland -- or a desert or whatever -- more power to you, but there are risks. Greater risks than exist in, let's say, Des Moines or Seattle. Maybe a better use of that federal money, if it has to be used for something, is to relocate those people to cities more suited to human habitation. People who really want to live in the bayou can always rebuild with their own resources. There's still that much freedom left in this country. But freedom to do something and entitlement to do it on the government dole are different things.

01 Sep 2005
Only 3 songs left on which to record the guitar parts. (Of course, then there's the lengthy mixing process.) Two weeks till the opening of "And Then There Were None". Some day I'd like to get the pictures off my camera into my computer. And, land sakes, it's been months since I reformatted my hard drive and I still haven't installed my scanner. And only 5 unread magazines to crack open.

16 Aug 2005
Oy. I got home early tonight, after a very short rehearsal. The sun was almost down, so I thought, now's my chance to get some mowing done. I hadn't mowed the lawn in 2 months. Yeah, I'd only have a few minutes. But a few days ago I had looked around and there were only a few unsightly, thick clumps of grass around the downspouts and where the sump pump comes out. The rest was still pretty dead. And there were a few stretches around the edges, where the neighbors' sprinkling spilled over. Oh, what fools these mortals be. I did the clumps at the front of the house, walked across the crunchy brown grass, and started in on the super clump by the sump pump. And, behold. The back yard was pretty much thick all the way through! What madness is this! So I started in on it, into the darkness. And the darkness eventually stopped me before finishing it all. For goodness sake. If I'd known this I'd have waited until I had an hour or two.

Meanwhile, back in the studio. By last Saturday I'd recorded everything but the guitars. And I'd even started practicing some of the guitar parts. But that's still where I am. Ready to record the guitar. And then the mixdown, which could take just as long. But since I missed my goal of getting it done before "The Pale Pink Dragon" ended, I suppose there's no rush now.

06 Aug 2005
I'll be playing the part of Rogers in "And Then There Were None", which was called "Ten Little Indians" when it debuted on Broadway in the '40s. How about that. Show number ten for me will be "Ten Little Indians". Meanwhile, I'm still trying to record the Ancient Order of the Killer Owl's album. It's so time-consuming. I just finished writing the last song this morning. I wanted to get it done by next weekend, but right now I've only got the lead vocals recorded for 4 songs. Plus I need to do the backups and guitar for all tracks. Exhausting.

02 Aug 2005
Tonight I went to audition ( #26) for Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians" at Bowen Park Theatre. I didn't include them on my list of Lake County community theaters because they don't identify themselves as one -- and they don't have the usual reminder, "There is no pay". I kind of think "no pay" and "community theater" go hand in hand.

31 Jul 2005
Did I mention that I'm going to be in that independent film? It's called "Karnstentine". I'm in a short flashback scene as a judge. I'm not sure how long the shooting will stretch out or where it will go, but if it's completed, at least we should all get a DVD of the movie.

I'm heading off to audition in Winnetka for "Once Upon A Mattress". Because I can. I don't have any Gold Coast pedigree, but I have seen "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". OK, you got me. I don't really know what that area is called. But it ain't the barrio.

LATE UPDATE: I'm back from the Winnetka Theatre, or the Big Noise Theatre. (It's only slightly confusing.) What a difference from "Music Man". I was there at the start, and I was #14, although I don't know what happened to the 13 before me. 6 of us did the dance part together. And a few more were there for non-dancing roles. And a couple more showed up afterward. I'm guessing they'll fill up on people at their second night of auditions. But anyway, the dance part was killer. At least for me, a non-dancer. It reminded me of the dance part of the "West Side Story" auditions, all professional and hard, with strange tapping and spins and what not. I'm sure I could learn to do it with someone showing me and with time. It's just not something I do every day or pick up easily in 10 minutes. In contrast, at auditions such as "Joseph" and "The Music Man", I felt by the end that I was actually getting what they had us doing during the audition. That's audition #25 in 2 years, if you're keeping score at home.

20 Jul 2005
The callbacks for "The Music Man" were tonight. Oh, my. So hectic. Well, it sometimes felt that way, even though it was mostly sitting around. I heard there had been 120 auditioners. They said they'd be calling every person with a yes/no decision tomorrow. That's a nice, personal touch. (But it sounds like a lot of work to me.) I counted at least 15 guys (high school and up) tonight and I believe the ones they were considering for Harold Hill were brought in at a different time, so there had to have been several more. You're not supposed to read anything in to what happens at the callbacks (or, I suppose, the original audition), but the two and a half hours I was there, all I did was the dance. They had everyone do a portion of the "Shipoopi" dance for the choreographer and director. That was it for me. A few nights ago, all I did was my prepared song. So, since they never had me read any scene, I have to think they already found someone or at least knew who they could eliminate (hello, over here!) for the parts I might have been considered for. Maybe someone who read earlier tonight knocked their socks off or something. Otherwise, why have me come to the callbacks at all. At least, that's my logical thinking. I make no pretense at actually understanding the casting process.

17 Jul 2005
Suprisingly, "The Music Man" people asked me to come to the callbacks this week. That doesn't really happen very often for me. Maybe they're asking all guys. They didn't have me read or dance or anything other than sing my 32 bars that I prepared of "Shipoopi". Which I thought actually went fairly well for me. I've certainly done worse. And I wasn't looking forward to it when I could hear through the auditorium doors the guy before me doing the same song, and then getting some kind of laughter out of the audition-running people. I'm talking guffaws. But I must say they've got a pretty well-oiled audition machine down there. I was number 49 on the sign-in sheet, but there weren't more than half a dozen auditioners milling about at any time I was there. And they had one thing on their audition form that I haven't seen in my wildly varied community theater audition experience -- but I've often wondered why no one asks this. They didn't only ask, "Will you accept any roles other than the ones you listed?" Inevitably you get people that answer "yes" to that and then when they're cast in the chorus, they just decide not to accept, or suddenly they've got a conflict. When I say "yes" to that, I stick to it. Which is why I usually say "no". But these guys had that question followed by, "Will you accept a part in the ensemble?" Excellent. So, even though my intention was just to put myself out there for Harold or Marcellus, under the gun I said "yes" to the former -- but still "no" to the latter. Since I did that, perhaps they're looking at me for one of the tiny parts, and since I said "yes" I would graciously accept it if it came down to that. Even though I like to keep busy during a show, which is hard to do when your character disappears for 30 pages at a time. Plus it's 20 miles away, which is easier to justify when you've got a bigger role. But, as usual, I can't predict the future.

14 Jul 2005
The first "Hansel & Gretel" show was this morning. And a good time was had by all. 3 more days, 4 more shows. And it's almost to peak audition time. Well, at least it was last August when there seemed to be oh so many. I'm going to try "The Music Man" again. They seem to come in groups. In a year or two, a show will pop up at several nearby theaters.

09 Jul 2005
Today I went to an audition for an independent film. Wow, that would be interesting. It's a horror film with demons and what not. I'm not sure if there's a "straight, average dude" type, which is kind of what I can do, but who knows. It has 3 main roles for guys, but they're all kind of younger. On the other hand, I don't look *that* old. And there weren't a ton of people at the auditions. But, oddly enough, there was a ton of food. That was a nice touch. A spread of vegetables and snacks and stuff. I wish I was the kind of person who could just pig out whenever I felt like it.

05 Jul 2005
Holy crap, Brian! I fixed my toilet. Well, it wasn't an emergency or anything, since I've got 3. And toilets must be really easy to fix -- let's face it, I did it. The chain that pulls up the flapper, which was really a strip of plastic, broke off, which meant there was no flushing action. The "chain" was, like, part of the flapper. I didn't realize that until I bought a replacement chain and found that the flapper didn't have anything to hook the chain to. So I went out again and bought a flapper -- 4 bucks. Luckily I'd examined mine closely beforehand, since there appear to be 3 different styles and my toilet's brand wasn't mentioned on any of the packages. But I put it in its place, attached its chain -- yeah, it comes with a chain -- to the arm that's connected to the flushing device, and presto. Everything seems to be working. Even though it must be about the easiest household repair to do, it still kind of makes a guy feel handy.

30 Jun 2005
Hey, you found me! I'm still trying to get things set up the way I want. In the meantime, I'll be in Waukegan's 4th of July parade on the 3rd. On foot? Yikes. Perhaps there will be something to ride in. Who knows. At any rate, we'll be passing out flyers promoting the upcoming 50th season of WCP

25 Jun 2005
Today at a high school graduation party -- my 3rd stop on a big Saturday of fun -- I was introduced to this couple who wondered if I was "Jim's son". Now, "Jim's daughter" was the one having the party. Wow. And we weren't even playing that deceptive, how-old-do-you-think-I-am game. So that was cool. Except from the perspective that it just fuels my own self-delusions when I should be accepting reality. Rich, creamy reality.

15 Jun 2005
The other day I was driving past the Lake Forest McDonald's, and I thought, hmm, I wonder where they get people to work at a McDonald's in Lake Forest. I wonder how far away those buses have to travel. On the other hand, where do they get customers for the Lake Forest McDonald's.

12 Jun 2005
So, I've somehow become secretary for WCP. How does something like that happen? Life is a mystery. I think officially it takes effect this month, but the joke's on them! The meetings are the 2nd Sunday of the month -- today -- but I'll be at the final performance of "Sweeney Todd". OK, I suppose I won't have an excuse for the July meeting, but right now I've got a one month reprieve from having to take minutes! Hooray for me!

06 Jun 2005
Wow, those guys from "Stranger Than Fiction" called again, this time just to get me to be a car extra, like Batman. Except that, again, I have conflicts. They're filming this Saturday and Sunday, the final weekend of "Sweeney Todd". It's still pretty amazing that I find myself with conflicts. Just imagine if I had, like, responsibilities. Or something.

Some day I hope to live in a world where "new & improved" can reliably be interpreted to mean "better". Sometimes that's the case, but not often enough. I see it all the time with software. The new version invariably does not work as well as the older version and often even has a reduced functionality set. But right now I'm thinking of medication. In the medical world, for example, there's not really anything else that does what Paregoric does as well as it does it. Even so, it seems to be rarely prescribed. It's basically the same stuff that was available a couple hundred years ago. No one's come up with anything better yet. But what really got me thinking about this is trying to clear my sinuses this morning. The government, in a mad rush to protect society from the evils of ephedrine, has already required all the decongestants with pseudoephedrine (you know, like Sudafed) to be hidden behind the counter. And there's this new pseudoephedrine-free version of Sudafed, which I got for free with some coupons. It uses phenylephrine instead. The beauty is, not only does it not do what its name implies ("nasal decongestant"), a job that pseudoephredine does well, it also produces (ok, for me, maybe not for everyone) a severe headache and blurred vision. Yep, new and improved.

02 Jun 2005
I always find it funny -- or, at least, peculiar -- how, after a show, many of the performers are talking to their friends and they'll ask how it was or if they liked it. I personally make an effort to specifically not ask. Because, what are they going to say? "It was so crappy, there isn't an English word craptastical enough to describe my feelings!" Not likely. Or so I thought. Maybe not in those words, but I think I've found someone who might, just maybe, respond brutally. Not that I'd put him to the test. But I have heard him describing his own audience experience, or conveying others' -- of shows featuring me -- in less than complimentary terms. Of course, when I piped up and said, hey, I was in that, I got a, "Oh, but you were fine", which sounds like his version of most people's, "I loved it!" response. Yowza. On the other hand, maybe that's the kind of wake-up call I need. But I'm not ready to wake up yet.

29 May 2005
One weekend down, two to go. I'd have to say, each performance improved on the previous. I'm not sure what was so upsetting that caused some to leave the show just before intermission the first night. Yes, there's some violence, but it's not really shown, definitely not in any gory sense. Yes, there's that scene with the judge and Sweeney's wife -- but it's all implied and discreet and, well, long before the end of the act. The final song of act I is about making meat pies from a priest -- but that's just one profession of many that are mentioned. Certainly if I pause to consider the lyrics for a second and a half, it doesn't seem blasphemous to me -- and I'm pretty religious. Someone did say that every production of "Sweeney Todd" they've been affiliated with has had some walkouts. That kind of goes along with what I've read, that despite its critical acclaim, it's never really a money maker for professional companies.

Meanwhile, on two separate occasions this weekend, people have told me they've discovered my blog. (Howdy! I'm talking to you!) Certainly that seems like something that can be greeted with a mixture of pride and unease. But the unasked question is, how do they know (or assume) that it's my blog? I do not believe I ever identify myself by name. Are my activities so specific as to only possibly apply to me? Or are they wise in the ways of science and able to track me down from some info that I, or perhaps my ISP, make public? I don't know. I said the question was unasked.

I suppose if I had one of those fancy blogs on a blog hosting site, strangers (and not so strangers) could respond to all my (apparently) rhetorical questions through those response links that all your fancy blogs seem to have. But I'm not ready to be one of those people. I stand alone here.

27 May 2005
And we're off. Opening night of 9 big shows. Nine? Whoa. Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd. His skin was pale and his eye was odd.

18 May 2005
It turns out that "Footloose" was, in fact, cancelled. But how does this happen. I went in to audition for the "Footloose" and I end up being in "Hansel & Gretel" (as the father) and "The Pale Pink Dragon" (as the king), a couple of childrens' shows. Kids love my non-threatening, oblivious nature. You know, I don't think I have to worry about lice from the king's crown, since I seem to play all the king roles at the Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater, at least for the last year and a half.

Meanwhile, the opening of "Sweeney Todd" fast approaches. They've posted an announcement, which includes some photos. I don't think it should be too difficult to pick me out of the group shot. At least I hope not. It's practically all chicks.

16 May 2005
This is from a survey in Illinois: 
     When asked about Bush's plan to let younger workers set
     aside some of the payroll taxes they pay for Social Security
     for private retirement savings accounts, 47 percent called
     it a bad idea, 33 percent a good idea.
What I don't get is, why does anyone think private accounts are bad. More than likely, the bigger problem is that Bush's plan will be bad because he throws in a bunch of stuff to appease the Democrats. But just the idea of having private accounts, separate from the final plan? I mean, that's just like a 401K. And for anyone petrified of the stock market, every plan I've seen makes it optional. You can leave your money in the current system if you want and continue hoping that there's something there when you retire. And if you fear change slightly less, the 401k plans I've seen have money market funds that are pretty much assured of not losing money while giving you your 1% return; which is still better than Social Security, since your heirs can inherit the full account. But ask anyone and they'll say they're not counting on getting anything from Social Security. Any plan would be a step up from that.

It would appear that if you're anti-Republican (or just anti-Bush) you have to be against any plan merely because Republicans (or Bush) are in favor of it. Just look at the Democrats who used to want Social Security reform. Now that it's identified as a Republican issue, they have to be against it, even though the people it helps the most -- the poor who don't have jobs with 401k plans -- are supposed to be the Dems' bread and butter, the ones they're so concerned about protecting. And somehow, their rhetoric has caused large segments of the general public to buy into the idea that they're better off with the current system. They'd be better off not paying the Social Security tax throughout their lives and just going to carousel on their 65th birthdays. Renew! Renew!

13 May 2005
It sounds as if they've cancelled "Footloose". Apparently. I've heard it from a couple people who were so informed. What a year. And it's only May. There was "The Runner Stumbles": cancelled several months after I was cast, but before rehearsals started. And "The Fantasticks": cancelled some time after it was placed in the Mount Prospect Park District catalog, but before I showed up for the auditions. And "Love Letters". (But that was after I was not cast.) And now this. That's why they call me the Community Theater Cooler. Oh, yeah? Well, they could.

10 May 2005
Hey, it's auditioning time again! I auditioned for "Footloose" tonight. That's more my vocal style than "Sweeney Todd", yes? Unfortunately, there's only one adult male role of any substance in the show. And even though there weren't a whole lot of dudes there, there was one who, well, is clearly an excellent player. And I wasn't given any info about the callbacks. They always say that doesn't mean anything, one way or the other, but I've never known a show that actually did callbacks -- which are happening here -- and that didn't invite everyone who was being considered for every part. I do have a lot of conflicts on my schedule the next few weeks, with "Sweeney Todd", so I'll just have to tell myself that's the real reason. Right on.

06 May 2005
Wow, only 3 weeks until "Sweeney Todd". He's the demon barber of Fleet Street, you know. I guess technically I never mentioned that I'm in the show, in the chorus. It seems as if there are always people around with these beautiful, mellifluous singing voices, not like mine, which actually seem out of place for most musicals' characters, at least by my way of thinking; but this show actually works for those people, since it's pretty operatic, so all those opera-sounding people make sense this time. I guess that's why opera companies do this show. I, on the other hand, don't make as much sense if you're looking for "beautiful" opera voices -- heck, I'm not even secretly pining for a "beautiful" opera voice -- but what are you gonna do. I still qualify as a willing male. The box office opens May 16th, but I can actually reserve tickets for you before then. If I know you. It's kind of lonely in the chorus. And yet, not lonely enough.

05 May 2005
As if my commute wasn't unbearable enough, they've closed a lane on 120 for construction -- the small part of 120 that's not just a little two lane road. Owning a construction company must be a huge cash cow. I mean, really, how many road construction projects actually do anything? 10 percent? Most of them just inconvenience people for several months, then the cones and equipment are removed, and no one can ever tell that there was a construction project in the first place. The profit margin on a project whose main activity is closing a lane must be tremendous. It does happen, rarely, that you drive through after it's all done and actually notice that they've made things better -- like when they added a left turn lane from 12 onto Lake-Cook and more than doubled the length of those left turn lanes. After a year of "work", that was a noticeable improvement. But that's the exception. So why do it? People in charge of government agencies have wads of tax money to spend. And they've got friends who own businesses that are in need of some payback -- or a down payment for future considerations. I guess that would be the catch to owning a company that does roadwork. You'd need an in with the people handing out the contracts. But then, it's cushy foreman jobs for the in-laws and you and your buddies at the DOT can sit back and laugh at the suckers in their cars going 5 mph who suddenly have plenty of time to ponder why a lane is closed for 3 months when there are workers sent to the site for 5 days.

08 Apr 2005
It's been 15 years. How much of Twin Peaks will you be watching tonight? Gone fishin'.

05 Apr 2005
As I drove past the gas station this morning where I paid $2.25 a gallon last night, I noticed it was up to $2.35. And their sign actually said 2.35/2.45/5.55. Naturally I thought that was just a mistake, easily enough made by a stoned convenience store employee. But the other side of the sign had the same prices, so it must have been some kind of statement. Not much further down the road the cheap gas was 2.43. Yeah, it's always even more in places like Chicago, but that doesn't make it better.

You know what the biggest failure of the war in Iraq is? It's not whatever the bleeding heart, blame-America-first crowd is screeching about this week. It's that the market hasn't been flooded with cheap oil by grateful Iraqis. And, realistically, the ruling class must want it that way. If it did result in cheap oil, all the tree-hugging tax-and-spenders would be right up in America's face to say we told you so.

03 Apr 2005
Speaking of sweet, delicious laudanum, how disturbing have the last couple episodes of "Deadwood" been. Forget the usual coarse language and subject matter. To help with Swearengen's kidney stone problem, which completely debilitated him and would lead to death in a few days, the doctor used a thin metal wire to jiggle the stones around in an attempt to get things flowing. And, you know, there's only one way to get into a man's bladder without cutting him open. Ouch. Even today, when sterile, small, flexible tubes are inserted to drain a bladder, the insertion procedure is pretty doggoned painful -- unless they do it after the general anesthesia kicks in -- so it's easy to imagine how excruciating it might be with a metal wire in a dusty frontier town.

02 Apr 2005
Holy synchronicity. When I auditioned for "Sweeney Todd", all I knew about it was that on the commentary track for "The Simpsons'" episode, "A Streetcar Named Marge", in explaining their song trashing New Orleans ("Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul..."), someone said they weren't trying to upset anyone, they were only thinking about "Sweeney Todd" and how harshly it portrayed London. That's all I knew. And now today I'm watching "Jersey Girl", in which Ben Affleck's little 7-year-old girl insists on performing a song from "Sweeney Todd" at her school show. And here we are. Day after tomorrow the rehearsals for "Sweeney Todd" finally start at PM&L.

31 Mar 2005
Laudanum. Sweet, delicious laudanum.

20 Mar 2005
This is the kind of thing I find unspeakably hilarious. On tonight's episode of "The Simpsons", as Bart and Lisa are stuck on a Turkish freighter heading out to sea, and Homer and Marge are watching helplessly from the dock, and it looks as if the captain of the ship will be keeping the kids, we get this exchange: 
    Homer: Will you raise them Christian?
    Ship Captain:  Eh, Coptic Christian.
    Homer:  Noooooooooo!


13 Mar 2005
Since I couldn't find one, I created my own list of community theaters in Lake County. There might be a couple that don't belong, but my information is sketchy. I don't want to include professional theaters or theater schools. (However, for example, College of Lake County is fine, since their shows aren't the end product of a theater class.) I can safely say that numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 9 meet my criteria, since I've auditioned at them. And I've seen the audition notices for number 1. I was torn about number 6, since it's not as open as the rest, but I left it in. (ed: numbers no longer relevant.) Wow, how can one suburban county support all these community theaters? My observation is that it's a struggle. But they all get by somehow.

07 Mar 2005
I guess I was wrong. There's not always tomorrow. I showed up at the Mt. Prospect Park District to audition for "The Fantasticks" tonight, only to find out it had been cancelled! Ay, carumba.

06 Mar 2005
The dream of being in more shows this year than last is pretty much shot already, since my schedule was blocked off for several months for "The Runner Stumbles" and the earliest possibility to be in something now is May -- and I'm not cast in anything yet. But tonight there was an audition for "Sweeney Todd", up there in Antioch. Despite my plans to move my face and wave my arms and maybe even smile a little (in my own way), when I got up there to sing I reverted to my usual statue position. And the singing was no treat either, even though I know I can sing it. I did my main song from "Cinderella". There's no false modesty in saying that I was the worst guy there. OK, maybe I can hang with the 10-year-old who did an a cappella Jackson 5 song -- they're pretty lenient about letting people sing without accompaniment or even with a CD player -- but, well, he's only 10. So he's charming and adorable. Plus, he wasn't half bad. He had some kind of DeFranco Family thing working with his five brothers and sisters who also auditioned. Or maybe the Cowsills. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Just like job interviews, I don't audition well. But it's still free and it goes on the list! And there's always tomorrow.

So, some people have led me to believe that I'd be better off with Windows XP than Millennium. Maybe I wouldn't have to reboot it all the time. But I ran Microsoft's thing that tells you what might not work after installing XP -- and one thing in the "might need new drivers" list was my sound card! My sound card! But I looked around and couldn't find anything newer than what I'm already using, which makes me reluctant to buy XP. Sometimes computers just seem more trouble than they're worth. I know. I know. I can hear you Apple users clucking your tongues and saying, it's not computers that are the problem.

19 Feb 2005
That "Love Letters" audition was my 20th! Otherwise it was unremarkable, as I won't be in that show, despite my probabilistic advantages.

13 Feb 2005
Whew. It was a pretty late night, but last night wrapped up 21 performances of "Truckin'", Thursday through Saturday. Twenty minutes per show followed by a twenty minute break. Rinse. Repeat. Since "The Runner Stumbles" was cancelled, I went to an audition at WCP today for "Love Letters". I was the only guy there. You'd think that would increase my chances of getting cast. But, yes, there is one more day of auditions.

28 Jan 2005
The latest back page quiz in "Entertainment Weekly" is about 1990. It doesn't sound like a great score, but I felt pretty good about getting 6 and a half right, out of ten, without doing any research. OK, the "Twin Peaks" question seemed insanely easy, but a couple seemed pretty tough:
1. What was the name of Milli Vanilli's album that earned
them (temporarily) a Best New Artist award from the Grammys?
2. What street do "The Simpsons" live on?
3. Which of these did not have a talk show in 1990? 
Chevy Chase, Pat Sajak, Arsenio Hall, Joan Rivers.
4. In "Dances With Wolves", what character did Mary McDonnell
play?  Eats With Hands, Stands With A Fist, Wind In Her Hair,
Walks With A Limp.
5. What were the names of the two guys in Nelson?
6. What was the name of the Bush family dog who "wrote" a book?
7. Edith Fore was a 74-year-old retired nurse who said
what 7 word phrase in a TV ad that became a national catchphrase?
8. What was the name of the silent propulsion system that
powered the Russian sub in "The Hunt For Red October"?
9. What movie was Julia Roberts in after "Pretty Woman" in
which she met Kiefer Sutherland?
10. Which of these was not a recurring character on
"Twin Peaks"?  The Log Lady, BOB, The Coffee Man, The Giant.
I think it's too late to enter now. The quizzes are usually only open for a few days. For the record, the ones I didn't know were numbers 3 (they all had talk shows at some time), 4 (never seen it), and 8 (seems kind of obscure, even though I've read the book and seen the movie). And I could only come up with half of #5.

20 Jan 2005
Don't forget, "Talking With..." opens tomorrow night, the 21st. Another WCP production at Victory Memorial Hospital in Waukegan. It's a series of 11 monologues by women ranging from, at one end, a young baton twirler and a young snake handler, up to a slightly older woman who is apparently obsessed with lamps. (But you know they're rife with meaning. Those lamps. OK, probably other stuff, too.) I'm the stage manager. You'd think with monologues there wouldn't be much in the way of a set, and they aren't all that elaborate, but each one has a few things that have to be brought out, and that's a lot of scene changes. Dude. Let's see. No singing. $12, or $10 in advance. Not exactly for the kids. But 11 hot, quirky chicks!

13 Jan 2005
I don't know how long I've been running my little country of Morphinia -- it very likely could be over 2 years -- but the population's up to 4.5 billion. Whoa.

06 Jan 2005
Hey, is it 2005 yet? Check out the books I read in 2004. Hmm. It's a little bigger list than in other years.

Street Scenes is a fundraiser for Carmel High School. Apparently it's like a variety show with all the performances in different rooms. Each performance gets repeated all through the night, while the attendees wander around to as many and whichever performances they choose. This year Waukegan Community Players has a room and will be doing a short one-act, written by Whitney (WCP member & Carmel student). Of course, since I'm all about me, I mention this because I'll be in it as, well, I'm not sure. OK, I'm pretty sure I'm in it. I have the script.

Do I like the snow? No, I do not. It wasn't anything like the blizzard in Ohio before Christmas, but there was probably 6 inches around my house. It's difficult to say with all the drifting; and when the news reports talk about snowfall ranging from 2 to 12 inches. But the worst of it is when I hit the road. My car makes a better snowboard than a car. OK, maybe not. You have some control over a snowboard. After shoveling my drive this morning, I got stuck before my front tires left the driveway. Not an example of poor shoveling, mind you. I have rear wheel drive. So I scraped around the rear tires, which had been spinning in the street, and got going. About a mile down IL-120 -- a major east-west route through Lake County, so I'm always expecting it to be more cleared than it gets -- I spun out, despite only going about 25 at the time. Luckily I didn't go into a ditch, but I was facing the wrong way. And my tires were spinning as I tried not to slide back into the traffic going around me. Trying to turn around in a gas station didn't work as I got stuck right in their entrance. After much rocking and spinning, I got going again and limped my way back home. That's good, and I'm glad I made it intact, but I feel as if I'd make a better impression at work if I was actually at work. More often. It would be sweet if I had some kind of broadband and was set up to work from home. But I'm not.

Oct-Dec 2004
Jul-Sep 2004
Apr-Jun 2004
Jan-Mar 2004
Oct-Dec 2003
Jun-Sep 2003

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