Cooper: Diane, last night I dreamed I was eating a large, tasteless gumdrop, and awoke to discover I was chewing on one of my foam disposable earplugs. Perhaps I should consider moderating my nighttime coffee consumption. 
                        -- "Twin Peaks"

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About me:
* Born in Dayton. Eldest of 10. Lived there 21 years.
* Graduated University of Dayton, 1986.
* Two years in Binghamton.
* Eight years in Chicago area.
* One year in Fort Wayne.
* Back to Chicago area, since 1998.
* 1993: First album recorded.
* 1999: First Regis experience.
* 2003: First theater experience.
* 2005: Eleventh album recorded.

Thursday, December 31st

Theater


At the end of the year, let's look back at the decade -- which is the same as looking back at all of history for me and "acting". I went to 52 auditions and was in 33 shows. And now I will rank the shows, in order of lasting impression of overall goodness. You know: the show, the cast, the rehearsals, the circumstances, the whatever. Basically my personal opinion of my personal experience. But lacking complete craziness and motivation -- I don't see how people make "top whatever" lists every year -- I'll just put them into 5 categories, instead of a one through thirty-three ranking. Five categories is hard enough. Within each category I'll just put them alphabetically. By definition, some of them will have to go into the bottom category, which doesn't necessarily mean those shows were worse than getting a gingivectomy -- although it's possible that some were. A gingivectomy isn't all that bad, when you get past the smell of burning gum flesh. But I digress. I'm already equivocating by only grouping them instead of declaring one of them to be #33. So I won't go any further and do something like naming the categories "Super", "Great", "Excellent", etc. I hate when everyone's a winner.

Nirvana -- Better than best; if someone could teach me how, I'd gush:
Oklahoma!, 2006, Starlight Theatre (Wilmette)

Tops -- Wish I could relive, or at least see played back:
Annie, 2004, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Babes In Toyland, 2004, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Bye Bye Birdie, 2007, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Charlotte's Web, 2007, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Disney's Beauty And The Beast, 2008, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Fantasticks, 2008, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Mousetrap, 2003, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Narnia, 2006, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater

Upper Middle:
Let Your Hair Down, Rapunzel, 2004, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Nutcracker, 2005, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Odd Couple (female version), 2007, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella, 2004, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Sleepy Hollow, 2006, Stage 48 (Libertyville)
The Story of Hansel & Gretel, 2005, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Take Five, 2004, Waukegan Community Players
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown, 2005, Waukegan Community Players

Lower Middle:
All In The Timing, 2006, Waukegan Community Players
And Then There Were None, 2005, Bowen Park Theatre (Waukegan)
Enchanted Sleeping Beauty, 2007, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Nutcracker, 2006, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Nutcracker, 2007, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
The Pale Pink Dragon, 2005, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Peter Pan, 2008, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Seussical: The Musical, 2009, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater

Carp -- Bottom dwellers; one of these barely missed out on the Lower Middle, but some should have provided lessons of what to avoid in the future. Who am I kidding. These are still better than a good day at work:
Brigadoon, 2008, PM&L Theatre (Antioch)
Butterflies Are Free, 2006, Waukegan Community Players
The Fantasticks, 2009, Waukegan Community Players
Marie's Nutcracker, 2008, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
A Midsummer Night's Dream, 2009, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Rapunzel, 2008, Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater
Sly Fox, 2008, PM&L Theatre (Antioch)
Sweeney Todd, 2005, PM&L Theatre (Antioch)


Dan on 12.31.09 @ 01:53 PM CT [link] [No Comments]

Sunday, December 27th

Obsessions


I often wish I had an inventory of all my stuff. And there'd be at least some info about each item, including the date acquired and how much it cost. Then I could look back fondly at that River's Edge poster and know I purchased it back in '92 and paid 20 bucks. I just made up those numbers, since I don't have such a detailed inventory at my fingertips. But I did dig through the old hall of records to find the origin of my main TV, whose picture is gradually fritzing out on me. With my magical inventory it would have been a lot quicker, but I did find that I bought this 31" JVC television in March 1994 for $830 at the old land-based Circuit City. Now I can rest easy. Except for the fact that I can't picture in my mind what TV I possibly replaced with that one. And finding any record of that would take even longer, and who's got that much motivation. The only other TV in my memory was just 13" and it's hard to imagine having something that small in a living room, even in a small apartment, let alone an actual house. There might have been another one in between, but who knows. It was a different time. When kids had to share the family set instead of there being one in every room of the house. And the possibility of having a 13" TV in the living room -- though remote -- isn't entirely unimaginable.
Dan on 12.27.09 @ 11:02 AM CT [link] [No Comments]

Saturday, December 26th

Great Men of Science


And so the Great Men of Science petered out by the end of 1994, another project left incomplete. The final two represent new possible categories for expansion, along with the Scientists of Doom expansion. March 1994 had a "fictional scientist" entry, and August 1994 saw the only entry for a type of scientist instead of a specific person.


Great Men Of Science, Part 18
-----------------------------
If you're into collecting fungus and mold
Dr. Venkman's your pal. He traps spirits cold.
He's not the gate keeper. He's not the key master.
But he'll make you laugh louder, harder and faster.


Great Men Of Science, Part 19
-----------------------------
Tears are falling but don't blame Kiss.
Why not blame the meteorologist?
He claims to predict the rain that you're hatin'.
If he really knew that you'd think he's working with Satan.

But you can count on this guy to be usually wrong.
He's not pounding a drum or banging a gong.
He's an anonymous sort, but scientific no less
With his rumpled old clothes -- and on Tuesdays a dress.



Parts 1-4
Parts 5-7
Parts 8-12
Parts 13-17
Dan on 12.26.09 @ 09:53 AM CT [link] [No Comments]

Thursday, December 24th

Pointless Filler #27


Even with everything that we save now -- people take hundreds of pictures a night and don't delete any of them! -- a lot can be lost in a thousand years. Like the details of pop culture, which might get a little confused after 50 generations.





Dan on 12.24.09 @ 11:09 AM CT [link] [No Comments]

Thursday, December 17th

Great Men of Science


In the last half of 1993, my selections for this super kids' science book seemed more infamous than famous; so I envisioned a darker section of the book called the "Scientists of Doom Club".

Great Men Of Science, Part 13
-----------------------------
Nitroglycerin was unstable and kind of lame.
Dynamite had kick and gave Nobel his fame.
To Alfred's regret, it was soon used to kill.
His Peace Prize paid off society's bill.

This left his wife, Becky, homeless and poor.
She used her straight hair as a man-trapping lure.
She hid dynamite in their pate foie gras,
Kept their money secure in her well-padded bra.


Great Men Of Science, Part 14
-----------------------------
Gatling made a gun that used a rotating crank.
It was best used in wars, not in robbing a bank.
He was already rich from his steam powered plow.
He could kill all your neighbors, then harvest their chow!


Great Men Of Science, Part 15
-----------------------------
Oppenheimer was the leader of the A-bomb team.
He hung out with commies and listened to Cream.
All those years at Berkeley must have messed with his head.
Near the end, he would only eat warm cheese on stale bread.


Great Men Of Science, Part 16
-----------------------------
The V-2 rocket was made for long range killing.
Wernher Von Braun was both eager and willing.
He spent many years creating and designing
At the lab where he couldn't hear his little kids' whining.

More than forty-three hundred were launched in the big world war.
German merchants let Wernher have anything in the store.
He picked up babes at the HaufsBrau by offering to show them his rocket.
Wernher said, "Though we lost, life is good. Who would knock it?"


Great Men Of Science, Part 17
-----------------------------
Some gots to die to pay for their crime.
It used to be messy: all that blood, gore and grime.
But Dr. Guillotin of France took their heads off real quick.
Just for fun, crooks went free when the blade thingy'd stick.

It was handy and useful, this guillotine tool.
You could cut tin cans with it which was really quite cool.
It required no power and amused young and old.
Order now while you can. They'll soon all be sold.



Parts 1-4
Parts 5-7
Parts 8-12
Dan on 12.17.09 @ 07:14 PM CT [link] [No Comments]

Saturday, December 12th

Standup Philosopher


Funny because it's true? Crikey!

Dilbert.com


Dan on 12.12.09 @ 11:28 AM CT [link] [No Comments]

Friday, December 11th

Great Men of Science


Still more Great Men Of Science, in which we learn of Heisenberg's blimp, and Alex Bell's fondness for bratwurst. These are from June and July, 1993.

Great Men Of Science, Part 8
----------------------------
Tesla worked a lot with magnets and stuff.
He was soft on the outside but his insides were tough.
He thought, "I want to reach the masses, the unwashed hordes."
So he started a band with just a few power chords.


Great Men Of Science, Part 9
----------------------------
Johannes Kepler liked to stare at the stars.
He determined planet orbits and he really dug Mars.
He said, "Life is geometric -- Pythagoras Rules!"
And he was quick with a lighter for the ladies with Kools.


Great Men Of Science, Part 10
-----------------------------
Heisenberg's blimp became a ball of flame.
Oh, the humanity! Could he clear his good name?
Wait, that was the Hindenburg. His rep took no hurtin'.
He proved that in life, all things are uncertain.


Great Men Of Science, Part 11
-----------------------------
Orville and Wilbur were the Wright boys from Dayton.
Their standards were high: spent their whole lifetime's waitin'.
But in the meantime, they learned how to fly.
They had everything but what money can't buy.

They lived the good life from when they were kids.
Their bicycle shop kept them off of the skids.
They moved to the suburbs to get them some rest.
They'd rather have none if they can't have the best.


Great Men Of Science, Part 12
-----------------------------
Alexander Graham Bell like to talk on the phone.
But he had to invent one first.
Then he called up Becky so they could be alone.
"Bring the grill, I'll bring the bratwurst!"



Parts 5-7
Parts 1-4


Dan on 12.11.09 @ 05:48 PM CT [link] [No Comments]