Cooper: Diane, last night I dreamed I was eating a large, tasteless gumdrop, and awoke to discover I was chewing on one of my foam disposable earplugs. Perhaps I should consider moderating my nighttime coffee consumption.
                        -- "Twin Peaks"


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About me:
* Born in Dayton. Eldest of 10. Lived there 21 years.
* Graduated University of Dayton, 1986.
* Two years in Binghamton.
* Eight years in Chicago area.
* One year in Fort Wayne.
* Back to Chicago area, since 1998.
* 1993: First album recorded.
* 1999: First Regis experience.
* 2003: First theater experience.
* 2005: Eleventh album recorded.

Thursday, May 31st

Theater


Tonight was the first rehearsal for my 21st show, a musical version of "Charlotte's Web". Given that the show is all about Wilbur and Charlotte (and to a lesser extent, young Fern), I'm surprised at how much my character, Homer Zuckerman, has to do. Granted, it is his famous pig -- after he buys it from Fern -- for 6 bucks! -- hey, everyone was happy with the deal. He's even featured in a song (with his wife). Ah, sweet delicious, radiant, humble pig.
Dan on 05.31.07 @ 09:25 PM CT [link]

Tuesday, May 29th

Standup Philosopher


Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind.
Dead kings, many things, I can't define.

Occasions, persuasions, clutter your mind.
Incense and peppermints, the color of time.

Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win but nothing to lose?

Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns.
Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around.

Look at yourself. Look at yourself. Yeah, yeah!
Look at yourself. Look at yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Dan on 05.29.07 @ 08:54 AM CT [link]

Monday, May 28th

High Price Of Life


It's the end of May. You know what that means? Property tax time! Why, oh, why-o can't someone give me a job in Blanchester so I can move away from here! I know there are places where property taxes are a fraction -- a sliver -- of what they are here! Because I've lived in St. Joe Township, Indiana!!! Yet, here I continue to live and pay 5400 a year to support schools, parks, libraries and what not. It's all for the children!!!

Well, I kid, of course. I kid because I care.

"Don't kill kids. Don't run them over. Let them live and grow to be older."

Everyone can't relate to property tax rates five times what they pay in their own little corner of paradise, but I think everyone's talking about the price of gas. People love to talk about that. But seriously, folks. Regular's at 3.59 in my neighborhood. There are a couple numbers I like better than price per gallon. They're all directly related, of course, but I think these others let you think about the costs from a slightly different angle. Both of these require you to have some idea what your car's mileage is, but, this is 2007, right? Everyone knows that or has some idea, I'm sure. It fluctuates, of course, but mine's been pretty consistent. The first number is how far can you get on a dollar. That's just miles per dollar. For me, that comes to 6.4. Wow. One buck, six and a half miles. The second number is how much it costs, just for gas, to get to and from work every day. That's about $12.50 for me. Ay, carumba. Sounds like a lot for the "pleasure" of being at work all day, but it's got a long way to go before quitting is an option. Perhaps it's time for a motorcycle. But then I'd have to figure a third number -- for which I do not know the formula -- that would tell me the odds of living another year while subjecting myself to 80 miles of rush hour traffic every day on a motorcycle.

Feel better?


Dan on 05.28.07 @ 05:09 PM CT [link]

Wednesday, May 23rd

Movies


Doggone it. I got a call today looking for extras for another movie. Unfortunately, it seems like shoots are scheduled either for weekdays or, when it is a weekend, they're looking for all day Saturday and Sunday combined -- and that's a big commitment of your weekend. The first thing she asked me about was a specific Thursday. There was a time, I would have just said, sure, sign me up, and then I'd just take that day off. No problem. Now it seems as if I'm so vacation-deficient -- even in my senectitude I'm only getting 10 days a year -- I don't have a big pool saved up and every day is precious. I'm going to need 2 days for a wedding this summer and (probably) a couple more for matinee performances of a certain children's musical.

I wonder if I feel bad about declining because I'd like to be an extra in these movies I keep hearing about; or, perhaps I just generally don't like to say no....
Dan on 05.23.07 @ 12:00 PM CT [link]

Tuesday, May 22nd

Theater


Wow, what's it been, like a month since my last audition? We finally got to one where my July commitments don't cause any conflicts with performances: "Charlotte's Web" at the Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater; a children's musical with music from the genius behind "Bye Bye Birdie" and "Annie". I guess it's no real surprise that there weren't a lot of guys high school age and up trying out for this one. I'm still not sure how involved the adult parts are, but they do include Fern's parents and her uncle & aunt. Based on what I saw, these auditions didn't attract very many adult females either. Or older kids, you know, like 16-20 year olds. But there were lots and lots of younger kids.

As usual, I butchered the song -- although this seemed like an unusually difficult song to be taught at an audition and to expect little kids to pick up too. Lots of timing issues and a wide range from the lowest low to the highest high. Of course, I'm not a little kid, so I have no excuse. I guess having a singing audition that I can be proud of (like doing "Shipoopi" at the "1776" audition last month) is actually pretty rare.

I don't even know what kind of age range they're considering for the various parts in this show. Realistically I think I'm limited to Fern's father or uncle. But it was kind of fun doing the Wilbur part during the cold readings. Oldest. Pig. Ever.

Dan on 05.22.07 @ 09:02 PM CT [link]

Sunday, May 20th

Movies


Note to self. Get in touch with Spielberg. Idea for movie. I have to eat one animal cracker every ten minutes or I'll explode.

Sometimes ideas just come to me.


Dan on 05.20.07 @ 06:45 PM CT [link]

Sunday, May 13th

Movies


Wow, another chance to be an extra came up today. The story of Ernie Davis (first black Heisman winner) is being filmed somewhere around Chicago. They want people this week, which is just too little notice for me. Of course, there's also the tiny matter of normally being at work during the week. It's a fun thing to do, but it's like you've almost got to have nothing else going on to be able to do it. The amazing thing is, I've probably turned down this extras casting company twice as often as not when they call to see if I'm available, but they still have me in their files.
Dan on 05.13.07 @ 08:16 PM CT [link]

Friday, May 11th

Standup Philosopher


This elevator only goes up to ten!
Dan on 05.11.07 @ 08:54 AM CT [link]

Friday, May 4th

The Secret


This morning I saw a sign that said, "Drink coffee. Be merry." Whoa! Could it be that simple? The answer to all our problems spelled out in such a simple and direct way! Perhaps I should pay heed to this sign!

Then I started thinking, maybe I should also consider the fact that this sign was in front of a coffeehouse.
Dan on 05.04.07 @ 07:58 PM CT [link]

Tuesday, May 1st

Theater


I never thought I'd see the day when I'd turn down a role. But Roselle is a long way off. A lot of people I know wouldn't drive half as far to be in a show. I shouldn't have been in the position of turning them down. On the audition form, I listed 5 roles of interest and selected "no" on the "will you accept other roles" question. But they went ahead and offered me another role anyway, McNair, which is fine in its own right and which I would have taken if the theater was in, let's say, Antioch, but my thinking was that the long distance would be justified by at least a larger supporting role (such as Dickinson or Lee), and not a "cameo". So it was with some discomfort that I said, thanks, but no thanks. Besides making me available for upcoming closer shows, there is one other good thing to come of this: the occasional reminder that my value lies more in my willingness and availability to participate and less in my potential as the next Lionel Barrymore.
Dan on 05.01.07 @ 06:38 PM CT [link]