The Garmonbozia Within

The Lyrics

They Call Me Obsessed
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1.	I'm bending over backwards
	To meet all your needs.
	I pretend that I don't see
	Your evil actions and deeds.
	You treat me with disdain
	When your friends are around.
	But when you need my help
	It's like I'm wearing a crown.
	I'm aware of how you feel
	About my life and my art.
	But that night you took my wallet
	You also stole my heart.

Refrain:
I'll share your air
And fix your fair hair
They call me obsessed.
I dare to bare
My soul when you're there.
They call me obsessed.
If obsessed means I know
Where to be when you need me
And I'm willing to let all
Your enemies bleed me
Then I'm that rare guy.
Your own private care guy.
They call me obsessed.

2.	I'm washing up my hands
	In case that I meet you.
	I'm brushing and I'm flossing.
	Now I'm ready to greet you.
	As much as I try
	I'm not worthy of you.
	You've even said it yourself
	Till your pretty face turned blue.
	Sometimes I grate your nerves
	But it's true love that I give.
	Our relationship is special.
	Without you I can't live.

Kick The Man Out The Door
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1.	Here we are
	On time for the job.
	The boss ain't here.
	Not that old, heartless slob.
	To play the game right
	Looking busy is smart.
	Not quite a science;
	It's more of an art.
	When volume's rewarded,
	It's simple to learn.
	Do just what they want,
	Get more than you earn.
	Play your cards the right way,
	Then you'll get your turn.
	Don't forget in the end,
	All bosses must burn.

Refrain:
Am I really getting
My money's worth?
They've been taxing my butt
Since the day of my birth.
And they've given me back
Potholes, fluoride, and crime.
They even came up
With Daylight Savings Time.
So come with me people.
We won't take it no more.
We can take back the power.
Kick the man out the door.

2.	Don't mind me
	Mr. President.
	You work for me
	And the money's been spent.
	It wasn't a gift
	So I'm on my way.
	Make up a bed.
	I'm planning to stay.
	If you've got a problem
	With those fools on the hill
	Or you need some advice
	On a Mideastern kill
	Or some girl from your past
	Is call you still
	Don't look at me.
	You're the President, Bill.

3.	Those who rule
	Take all they can get.
	They're dry and warm.
	Common man gets all wet.
	You can hope to find luck
	While the man's riches grow.
	It's small consolation
	But you reap what you sow.
	Politicians and bosses
	Sell their soul and their heart.
	Their horse may look nice.
	It's in front of their cart.
	Just remember one thing
	As you knock the man down.
	You'll become all you hate
	When you put on his crown.

Listen To The Silence
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1.	Listen to the silence.
	The silence of the souls.
	The souls of the dead cattle
	Whose brains are full of holes.

2.	Their lives were filled with mooing
	And making methane gas.
	But now they're decomposing
	Out in the dying grass.

3.	There's no more beef for supper
	Or backyard summer feasts.
	The pig is our new favorite
	Of all the livestock beasts.

4.	We fed them sheep's intestines
	Which made them go insane
	Not that you'd really notice
	With their naturally small brain.

5.	A few became professors
	And teachers in our schools.
	These were killed by boredom
	And from babysitting fools.

6.	Some even won elections.
	They're holding office still.
	They killed the other cattle
	Through passage of a bill.

7.	The cows in charge say all is safe.
	I'll stick to pork and beer.
	The cattle made me crazy.
	Now I see them in the mirror.

Physical Strife
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
You.  You're like a knife that slowly twists.
You.  You might even have some cysts.
When I wake up, you'd better be gone.
I gave you a chance, now I'm moving on.
Things are so bad, they can't get too much worse.
By the day after next I'll be free of your curse.
It's really a matter of quality of life.
I won't let you cause me more physical strife.

1.	I needed you there
	To make me feel whole;
	As vital to me
	Ass my heart and my soul.
	We were constant companions
	When mealtime arrived.
	I gave and you took.
	You were never deprived.
	You changed and became
	A real pain in the gut.
	I won't take it no more.
	Prepare to be cut.
	I've got an assassin,
	A pro with a knife.
	It's extreme, but you caused
	Too much physical strife.

Bridge:
Ascending or descending
Or even transverse.
They can all go bad.
More Demerol, nurse!
Physical strife
In your neighborhood
Makes even the squares
Think that drugs can be good.

Becky Wrecked Me
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
Becky wrecked me.
That shows that she cares.
She's a hot one.
She's used to the stares.
Kind of like M.C.
But with even less flaws.
She's got looks and brains and class.
My new number one cause.
She can curl your toes
But she's thinking of me.
For now we're a secret.
That's the way it must be.

1.	Becky, you wrecked me.
	I'm coming back for more.
	Truly, you move me.
	I'm knockin' on your door.
	There's no more need for you
	To play hard to get.
	I've anted up my heart
	And I'm not losing this bet.
	I'm waiting in the rain
	And my feet are all wet.
	But that's O.K.
	We make a great team.
	Just admit that it's true.
	There's one person for me.
	And that person is you.

2.	Now that we know that
	There are feelings we share.
	Please dear, I do fear
	I'm in need of some air.
	I can't believe I'm hearing
	The things I just said.
	The only explanation is
	I'm out of my head.
	There's no way I would ever
	Bite your hand as I'm fed.
	Am I O.K.?
	You still make me crazy.
	You know that you do.
	Ignore my mad ravings.
	I'm that cuckoo that flew.

3.	Becky checked me
	Into a good home.
	Doctors shocked her
	By letting me roam.
	I found my way back
	To her door, barred with locks.
	To think I helped her
	Study up on futures and stocks.
	This can't be right.  My Becky
	Was a kind, gentle fox.
	But that's O.K.
	We make a great team.
	Everyone knows it's true.
	Becky, Becky, Becky.
	You love me, I love you.

The Small Town Secrets Suite, Part II: Ghostwood
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
We'll put a deal together.
We'll call it Ghostwood Estate.
The Norwegians may have passed
But the Icelanders took the bait.
(alt. lyrics:
3rd time
The Icelanders got the shaft
But this Asian deal really sounds great.
4th time
The Asian deal was false.
Now it's Catherine controlling my fate.
5th time
Catherine seems to be in charge.
But revenge will come sooner than late.)
We've got some small town secrets.
The outsiders need not know.
I control this little town
But there's lots of room to grow.
I can pander to the guests
Like any good host should
While inside I plot & scheme
About this land I call Ghostwood.

1.	This town has one man
	Who's an integral piece.
	If you want something done
	It's his palm you must grease.
	That man would be I.
	My name would be Ben.
	My daughter looks almost
	Like Sherilyn Fenn!
	My wife is a cipher
	And my son's less than that.
	I do as I please
	Like an old alley cat.
	I've got all that I need
	But it's never enough
	So I'll bilk some investors.
	It shouldn't be tough.
	I've got my own laws.
	I've got my own code.
	I'm wheeling and dealing
	In full charmer mode.
	These Norwegians are loving
	This land deal I've got.
	Sure, I don't own the land
	But that bothers me not.
	They were ready to buy.
	Everything was in place
	When my daughter came in
	With a look on her face.
	She told them a story
	Of Death and Despair.
	Briefly awed by her presence,
	Then they flew out of there.
	Yeah they were awed by her presence
	And the Death and Despair.
	The next thing I knew
	They were way out of there.

2.	The Icelanders are better
	They worship the trees,
	And the natural sites
	And our clean small town breeze.
	They're ready to sign
	But they want more fun first
	So we'll take them to Jack's
	Where their poor hearts might burst.
	Now they're feeling so good
	That they're ready to sign
	Even though they don't know
	That the land's not yet mine.
	It belongs to the saw mill
	But it won't be for long.
	When it burns to the ground
	It's mine for a song.
	It all falls in place
	But the next thing you know
	I've got a much better offer
	And I just can't say no.
	Screw the Icelanders.
	I've received all their cash.
	This mysterious Asian
	Has a much bigger stash.
	But just as I'm reaching
	New heights unforeseen
	I'm framed for the murder
	Of this small town's Prom Queen.
	From the king of the hill
	To the lowest of low.
	Kicked like a dog
	And with nowhere to go.
	Oh I was kicked like a dog.
	I had nowhere to go.
	I was once on the top
	Now I'm lower than low.

3.	Imagine my shock
	To discover my foe.
	It's Catherine, that old wench
	Of whose pleasures I know.
	She's behind the whole thing,
	A brilliant con game.
	I'll bury her some day
	As Ben is my name.
	For now, she has won.
	It's her mercy I need
	To clear me of murder.
	She'll make sure that I bleed.
	Of course, she took Ghostwood
	And some assets most dear.
	What I have left of value
	Is all too unclear.
	My life was a mess
	So I went back in time
	To lead the Confederates
	To pay for my crime.
	Somehow we triumphed.
	We defeated the North.
	And when I came to
	Streams of goodness poured forth!
	I was filled with the need
	To do the right things
	Like snacking on carrots
	And giving up flings.
	It came in a flash
	How to do the most good.
	I'd lead a campaign:
	Just say no to Ghostwood.
	Oh yeah I knew then and there
	The best way to do good.
	I'll do all I can
	To put a stop to Ghostwood.

Bridge:
This Ghostwood Project
Makes a mess of the land.
The badgers and squirrels
And that sycamore strand.
Let's all stop Ghostwood.
It's the right thing to do.
Just sign a petition.
Enjoy a free brew.
We don't need more golf courses
Or shopping mall stores.
You can shop down at Ben's.
We've got seven floors!
Let's not forget the Pine Weasel.
They've got nowhere to hide.
They all live out in Ghostwood
And they're incredible fried.

Welcome To Hell
(© 1996, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1.	I got up early that morning
	In the usual way.
	The alarm clock knows
	It's time to start a new day.
	There's no need to think about it.
	Gotta work to get by.
	Can't afford my own Alice.
	And my threads aren't too fly.
	So I'm dreaming of a future
	That's not so bleak as the now
	When I'll do the things I want.
	I won't pull the man's plow.
	That'll have to wait.
	I've got obligations to meet.
	I've got to get to work on time
	Or I'll be out on the street.

2.	Well, I made it to the job.
	I'm alert at my post
	When I feel a sudden shiver
	Like I just touched a ghost.
	Oh, hi boss, things are going great.
	I'm keeping my seat warm,
	Doing everything I'm told.
	Would you please sign this form?
	But the boss man didn't hit me
	With his usual banal talk.
	He just stood there kinda strange.
	His face was white as chalk.
	All around the place
	It seemed like just another day.
	I thought I'd just ignore it.
	But then I heard the boss say:

Refrain:
Welcome to Hell.
	You must have done something wrong.
Welcome to Hell.
	You've really been here all along.
You waste all your time hoping
That your life is gonna change
When in fact it doesn't matter.
It's already been arranged.
Welcome to Hell.
	Make yourself right at home.
Welcome to Hell.
	Have another soup bone.
All your friend are here.
In many ways your job's still the same.
I'll assign you hopeless tasks
And you'll still be the one to blame.
Don't have any thoughts of your own
Or I turn up the flame.
You're here for good
And we're all glad you came.

3.	I should have recognized it.
	Always dreaded my work,
	That guy whose laugh is way too loud,
	That mad chick with the smirk.
	My whole life was spent preparing,
	Completely unaware.
	Hell is not just a concept.
	And I'm already there.
	You may think your boss is friendly,
	Just an occasional pain.
	Don't you turn away from me.
	I'm the only one sane!
	It's for your own good.
	I want to warn you while I can.
	Don't spend your first life in Hell.
	Don't hear the words of the man: