No Future

The Lyrics

M.C.
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
Mystery chick, mystery chick.
There she is.
Catch your breath.
Say something quick.
Her x-ray eyes can paralyze.
Now she's gone.
But she left
You hypnotized.

1. She smiled at me once.
   But I'm just foolin' myself.
   To her I'm just a vapor,
   Another can on the shelf.

2. She's with some new guy
   Or maybe she's not.
   At any rate he's closer
   Than I ever got.

3. Her facial expressions
   Are magically curing.
   Her hair is plain and simple,
   Yet it's strangely alluring.

4. She drives a white 'stang
   And like her, it's hot.
   She laughs at all the cops.
   They'll never have what she's got.

5. Everything's kind of blurry.
   I think I'm coming around.
   Her intoxicating looks
   Knocked me right to the ground.



Without You
(© 1984, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. You and me had something special when
   You and me were young.
   All that I have of you is now
   In my photo album.
   Ooh, we had a good thing goin'.
   Now, your picture I've been showin'.
   Ooh, the pain is slowly growin'.
   Why don't you come back to me
   And forget why you chose to leave?

Refrain:
Though they tried to change my view
I stood right here and stuck by you
And now I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without you here.

2. When I met you no one wanted to
   Be seen with you at all.
   I took you and made you someone
   Who could stand up straight and tall.
   I gave you brains that you could use.
   I made your body lovely, too.
   Have you forgotten what you
   Were before I came out here and
   Filled your life with joy and cheer?



Too Many Dogs
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
I've got too many dogs.
I don't know what to do.
I really, really love 'em
But they ate my favorite shoe!
I pick up their messes.
I feed them every night.
But my pocket change is running out.
Their costs are out of sight.

1. Once we had one
   And it was good.
   Then we got another.
   You knew that we would.
   I guess it was inevitable
   The two would breed.
   Now we've got a dozen
   Hungry dogs to feed.
   When one gets to barkin'
   They all have to prove
   That they can do it too.
   My neighbors want us to move.
   The yard is a disaster.
   I should get public grants.
   I planted grass seed once.
   It never had a chance.

2. Dan across the street
   Said he'd put 'em down.
   It'd be a blessing
   Unlike the city pound.
   We thought about it quickly.
   We couldn't allow.
   Any harm to come to 'em.
   Dan muttered, wow, Bob, wow.
   The neighbors got some torches
   To burn down the place.
   The badge wearing bullies
   Kept them outta our face.
   They confiscated the dogs.
   The judge was wasted on gin.
   My old neighbors are glad
   I'm in the looney bin.

Bridge:
You know Bowser and Bagel and Biscuit and Coti.
Freeway, Mariah, Dusty and -- Bear.
But do you recall, the most famous hound dog of all?
No way!



Victim of Circumstance
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
I'm a victim of opportunity, a victim of chance.
Victim of environment, victim of circumstance.

1. I'm not the one responsible.
   I'm not the one to blame.
   No matter what I try to do
   It always ends the same.
   I'm sure I could have been someone
   If I'd had a little luck.
   Someone else is at the wheel.
   We're off the road and now I'm stuck.
   I've got a monkey on my back.
   It feels like an albatross.
   If I had a job at least then
   I could blame it on my boss.

2. I can't be held responsible.
   It's out of my control.
   I'm on the turnpike of existence
   And I haven't got the toll.
   The government and society
   Conspire to hold me down.
   Get off my back.  It's not my fault.
   It's just this useless town.
   I can't help the fact that
   I was born in the wrong time and place.
   I didn't choose either one
   And I sure didn't choose this face!

Outro:
I'm not the one responsible.  I'm not the one to blame.
No matter what I try to do it always ends the same.



Bullies With Badges
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
Refrain:
The man's on your back and he's wearin' blue.
Can't catch the real crooks so he's hasslin' you.
They use to tell you to trust 'em, cop's on your side.
But they're just bullies with badges.  Mom musta lied.

1. I never fought the law.
   The law fought me.
   Mindin' my own business
   To the third degree.
   They picked me at random
   To make me confess.
   If they badger me enough
   They think I'll crack under stress.
   The real guilty party
   Is too much work.
   The truth doesn't matter.
   They just need a young turk
   To take the fall
   So they can close the case.
   The only thing they're good at
   Is taking up space.

2. They used to be the big kid
   Bossin' others around.
   But the others grew up
   And the bullies soon found
   They had no more advantage.
   They'd lost their power.
   But a badge and a gun
   Would make anyone cower.
   They could beat people up,
   Hit 'em hard with their sticks.
   And if they married well
   They'd be promoted to dicks.
   The beauty is, it's legal.
   It's part of their jobs.
   Runnin' red lights, eatin' doughnuts,
   Firin' blindly into mobs.



Opportunities Lost
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. It's a cruel, cruel world
   And I'm just a sorry fool.
   I was smokin' in the boys' room
   When I should have been in school.
   I got my diploma
   Thanks to public education.
   But since I graduated
   Been on permanent vacation.

Refrain:
My mind is lost in space.
I've paid a heavy cost.
The story of my life:
Opportunities Lost.
I've got a lifetime pass
To the land of the lost.
The story of my life:
Opportunities Lost.

2. Becky's up and left
   Took her pet rock and her fish.
   Said she's better off without me.
   Now she's gone and got her wish.
   I heard she married well
   To a doctor with his own yacht.
   At least I haven't sold out.
   What's mine is mine.  It's all I've got.

Bridge:
When I was young my plate was full.
But now the cupboard is bare.
Some have it all and some have none.
No one said life was fair.

3. When I had the choice
   I took the easy way out.
   If I had the chance to change things
   There's be very little doubt.
   A fool and his money
   Won't stay together long.
   I'd do everything the same.
   What's right is right.  I'd still be wrong.



Cow Tippin'
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. The guys in my clique out on a Saturday night
   Looking for a party, maybe start us a fight.
   Time is a contrivance and yet some how it flew.
   We wound up in a field.  An angry cow was there too.
   
Refrain:
Cow tippin' -- it'll be all right.
Cow tippin' -- those cows won't bite.
Just sneak up behind one and give 'im a shove.
The cows don't mind if you do it with love.

2. It's not really personal.  I like what they give us.
   A hearty jack goes great with icy cold Chivas.
   And if we're lucky they'll have kids, then we'll have veal.
   You could say they're an important part of every meal.
   
Middle:
(instrumental)
No -- more -- head -- cheese!

3. The cows play pretty rough and, yeah, they weigh a lot.
   Johnny learned the hard way.  Now he's in a plot.
   We didn't stop to think.  Like silly rabbits and Trix
   Alcohol and cows are two things that just don't mix.

Outro:
Just make sure
When the deed is done.
The cow's on his back
And your feets can run.



Lord Of The Manor (Stalking Traci)
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. Traci Lords is quite an actress.
   She's no Brooke Shields but she knows what the facts is.
   She made her name when she was just a kid.
   Opportunity knocked and she did what she did.

Refrain:
I'll be the Lord of the Manor when Traci's with me.
If I bug her enough, I'm sure she'll agree.

2. She has a body that's good to go.
   When the camera's on she gives a darned good show.
   She's been around but now she's gone legit
   Playin' sexy vixens with uncommon wit.

3. I wrote her letters and rang her phone.
   Then the cops showed up and got me alone
   So they could beat me silly, 'cause they the man.
   But they couldn't break my spirit, I'm a Traci Lords fan.

4. Well Traci heard about my terrible plight.
   She came down to the station to set things right.
   She told the cops that we were pretty good friends.
   But that's not quite true.  It all depends
   On your point of view.  It was all in my head.
   It wasn't Traci at all, it was my lawyer instead.
   He told me that since I wasn't able to pay
   I'd have to rot in this jail cell till my dying day.



Clock Tower
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. I've got my own problems
   But I don't think I'm crazy.
   I like my own pace but that don't
   Mean that I'm lazy.
   If I had a job
   I'd be delivering mail.
   But even they won't take me.
   I just got out on bail.

Refrain:

   They say the squeaky wheel gets all of the grease.
   I came to make war, now I'm gettin' some peace.
   I'm a victim of change.  Everything's turning sour.
   The headlines'll read, "Loner in the clock tower".

2. I can see a lot of stuff
   From my tower perch.
   There's the parking lot.
   There's the campus church.
   There's a bunch of co-eds
   On their way to class.
   To them I don't exist.
   I'm just poor, white trash.

3. There goes a professor.
   I could pop him from here.
   But I'll wait until I finish
   My last forty of beer.
   If I'm lucky
   I'll get a few Porky-pines, too.
   No one understands.
   They ain't got a clue.

Outro:
But I ain't got a gun
And bullets cost money.
Ahhh, I'll just go home.



No Room In The Crawl Space
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. There's no room in the crawl space.
   Hasn't been for years.
   It's filled with dead bodies,
   My hopes and my fears.
   No one would suspect me.
   I'm a nice, quiet guy.
   In fact, they all thanked me
   When I kissed them goodbye.

Refrain:
Just pack up your troubles.
Then you've got to store them away.
Way down in the crawl space.
Everything will be O.K.
Out of sight and out of mind
Makes it all seem right.
It keeps your conscience clear;
It helps you sleep good at night.

2. There's no room in the crawl space.
   My girlfriend's down there.
   I had some good reasons.
   Let's just say that I care.
   I'm much happier now
   And I'm sure she'd agree.
   She's much better off
   And she owes it all to me.



Prelude To A Postal Massacre
(© 1993, Daniel C. Eaglin)
1. I made it through high school
   Without many skills.
   I smoked me some pot.
   I took a few pills.
   My mom got fed up
   Then she threw me out.
   I need me a job, man,
   Someone help me out.
   I tried a few places
   But they said to me:
   "Come back after you get
   Some kind of degree."
   I heard they were hiring.
   A job I could do.
   A government job.
   A union job too.

2. I'm workin' outside
   In all kinds of weather.
   My shoes are first class;
   The best kind of leather.
   It's a good thing, too,
   'Cause I give 'em a workout.
   My foot strength is great, now,
   Of that there is no doubt.
   Sometimes it is hot.
   Sometimes it is cold.
   I know I'm employed
   Until I get old and can't
   Carry my bags
   And complete all my rounds
   And don't have the strenth
   To mace all the hounds.

Refrain:
I'm a postal worker, my life ain't too hard.
I'm a postal worker, got my own union card.
The duties of my job are fairly well defined.
Don't even work late when I fall behind.
I sort and deliver your mail to you.
To put it quite simply, that's what I do.
I bring you your letters and your Newsweek subscription.
I'm proud of this country's post office tradition.

3. The kids on my route
   All laugh in my face.
   No housewife has ever
   Met me in pink lace.
   I only get one
   Day off each week.
   Any chance of promotion
   Is pretty darned bleak.
   My fellow co-workers
   Are more of the same.
   The potential missus
   Are pretty darned lame.
   And it's all my own fault
   From way back in school.
   I was always an outcast.
   I never was cool.