They Said It

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• James: When'd you start smokin'?
  Donna: I smoke every once in a while.
  Helps relieve tension.
  James: When'd you get so tense?
  Donna: When I started smokin'.
  

  -- "Twin Peaks"

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• "Everyone's in such a rush. I say, stop and smell the burning flesh of sinners."

  -- The Devil, "Brimstone"

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• In the TV's glow
  My mind's on
  CRUISE CONTROL...
  

  -- "Zombies From Hell", T-Ride

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• Meditations on Turning Eight
  by Lisa Simpson
  I had a cat named Snowball -- She died! She died!
  Mom said she was sleeping -- She lied! She lied!
  Why oh why is my cat dead?
  Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead?
  

  -- "The Simpsons"

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• "If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe."
  

  -- Abraham Lincoln

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• "The amazing thing is that I get paid no matter what I do."
  

  -- "Dilbert"

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• "One needs only to remember that a groove may be safe -- but as one wears away at it, the groove becomes first a rut and finally a grave."
  

  -- John Paul Getty

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• "My father taught me to work, but not to love it. I never did like to work and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh -- anything but work."
  

  -- Abraham Lincoln

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• "Not a speck of light is showing,
  So the danger must be growing.
  Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?
  Is the grisly reaper mowing?
  

  Yes!
  

  The danger must be growing
  For the rowers keep on rowing!
  And they're certainly not showing,
  Any signs that they are slowing!!!"
  

  -- "Willy Wonka"

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• "In a fight between you and the world, bet on the world."
  

  -- Kafka

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• "I've never been qualified for anything I'm good at."
  

  -- Sonny Bono

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• "I learned long ago that money cannot make your happy. And I realized that unless you have money, you can't make that statement."
  

  -- Barry Gordy

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• "This means more to me than a good bowel movement."
  

  --Debbie Harry, after receiving an award from New York's Jackie 60 club

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• "[Smoking marijuana] keeps me from killing people."
  

  -- Willie Nelson

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• Taylor: "How are you feeling?"
  Lucius: "Disillusioned. You can't trust the older generation."
  

  -- "Planet of the Apes"

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• Barney: Wanna go to the prom with me?
  Girl: Good God, no!
  Barney: Well-put.
  

  -- "The Simpsons"

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• When innocent blood is spilled, a spirit of vengeance is born, and Danny Ketch finds himself transformed. Stan Lee presents ... G H O S T R I D E R

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• "I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis, and I don't deserve that, either.
  

  -- Jack Benny

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• "I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
  

  -- Abraham Lincoln

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• "Were we to be directed by Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should soon want bread."
  

  -- Thomas Jefferson

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• "I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies."
  

  -- Thomas Jefferson

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• "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed. Or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."
  

  -- Lloyd Dobler, "Say Anything"

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• Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
  Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been missing it, Bob.
  

  -- "Office Space"

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• Meatwad: That's what separates the men from the animals.
  Frylock: Actually, Meatwad, animals have kidneys, too.
  Meatwad: Well, animals ain't got no job working for the city.
  Frylock: Neither do you.
  Meatwad: Yeah, well. Dang, you burned me. I got nothin'.
  

  -- "Aqua Teen Hungerforce"