Danblog (Apr-Jun 2004)
Log Lady: My husband was a logging man... he met the devil. Fire is the
devil, hiding like a coward in the smoke.
-- "Twin Peaks"
25 Jun 2004
Hello, Illinois
Republican Party! I'm the political tabula rasa
your handlers can use in the upcoming Senate election. Sure, I'm more
in agreement with outgoing Sen. Fitzgerald's positions, and I know the
party establishment never cottoned to him, but I'm also very pliable
and open to suggestion; so put your spinmeisters to work.
Plus, I've never been to a sex club. Or even
kissed an intern. And even if you just want some cannon fodder against
those pesky Illinois Dems, that's OK. I've got no political career
that I'm worried about tarnishing in a (seemingly) hopeless race. Have
your people contact my people.
And vote for me!
24 Jun 2004
In recent "Annie" news, it turns out that Francis Perkins, FDR's
Secretary of Labor, was a woman. I thought Francis was the male name and
Frances was the female. It's possible the script and online resources
I've seen spell it wrong, but then, you never can tell with names. Given
this development, one of the chicks will play Perkins, a key player
in the development of FDR's many socialist programs, and I get to be
Secretary of State Cordell Hull, more concerned with the rumblings from
Germany than the unemployment figures at home. Rock on.
21 Jun 2004
Hmm. John Kerry has voted over 350 times on the side of higher taxes.
And yet, the 2004 elections could be just as close as 2000. It's a
puzzler. Sure, it's easy to see how a committed, liberal, tax & spend
democrat (Kerry) could be in love with high taxes -- and don't be fooled,
Kerry is all that; if he were an "average" democrat, Clinton (Bill,
that is) would be considered suspiciously too far to the right to be
invited to the party.
Ah, but income redistribution at the hands of
the all-knowing nanny state is what being a
democrat is all about today; unlike, say, when Kennedy was in office.
But what's a mystery is why 50,000,000 Americans would prefer a system
in which the government takes your money and decides what to do with it.
I know a lot of people who will vote for Kerry and I guess they just
don't care. I can't imagine them standing up and saying, yes, please
take more of my money. But they'll vote for Kerry anyway.
15 Jun 2004
I just watched "Bruce Almighty". What a chore. I keep trying to
give him another chance, but I can't seem to appreciate Jim Carrey.
People seem to think he's funny. But why? I do believe I thought
he was pretty funny on some awards shows. But can I think of even
one of his movies that I really liked? I cannot. (OK, "Man On
The Moon" was tolerable. But it wasn't exactly typical Carrey.)
Perhaps it's his lack of subtlety. And his reliance on the
silly-faces/silly-voices/wacky-stupid school of comedy. I can
definitely live without that.
28 May 2004
Coming this summer to the Round Lake Area Park District Community
Theater: two shows. There's "Annie". And there's "Let Your Hair Down,
Rapunzel". In "Annie", I'll be portraying the roles of: Eddie, a resident
of Hooverville; Drake, Warbucks' English butler; Fred McCracken, the
ventriloquist in the radio show; and, Francis Perkins, FDR's Secretary
of Labor. Somewhat unexpectedly, I'll also be the King in "Rapunzel".
Hmm. The king. Holy typecasting!
23 May 2004
Help make Ancient Order Of The Killer Owl the schizzle dizzle
of Europe. Or France. Or something. Go to
Music75.com and click on "Leave Me Alone" in the songbook near
the bottom. It's the bizzle.
19 May 2004
Where do I begin. There were 7 guys at the callback tonight, 6 of
them going for the two main roles. Great, competition! Really,
isn't that what I wanted? I gave it my best shot, but none of them
was obviously worse than I. Apparently I wasn't the only one who
said "no" to the question of "are you willing to accept other roles".
Because -- and I didn't think this would happen -- we were all asked
if we were rock solid on that point. I expected that if you say no to
that on the application, and
they want someone else for the parts, then you'll get nothing. That's
where part 4 of the plan comes in. But when pressed, I said that I don't
really know how to say no. Now I'm wondering how that was taken -- as
a reluctant way of saying I meant what I said, or that, sure, I'll
do whatever you want.
I have said in other situations that it's not that I necessarily want
the lead, I just want stuff to do. And that goes back to being in
"The Mousetrap" for my first show and having a good sized role in it.
On the other hand, I was clinging to the idea of being able to say
that I was never in the chorus, recognizing, of course, that the chorus
is important and necessary. (But doggone it, I'm not exactly a kid!)
So if they offer me one of the chorus
parts -- which do apparently require a lot of activity, covering
multiple minor characters, giving me the desired "stuff to do" but
at the same time violating my chorus policy -- no one should see me
in it and we'll never speak of this again. Because I won't say no.
Because that's the kind of guy I am.
Unfortunately, either way I'll be left wondering if it's just like
the other shows, where I got cast after barely enough people auditioned.
If I get one of the leads, will it be because of how my "I don't know
how to say no" was interpreted, and they decided I wouldn't be happy
otherwise and this was the best way to maximize the number of males
in the show? (How many shows can I do without knowing if I'm actually
good enough to be in any of the shows??? The answer so far is "all of them".)
If I'm in the chorus, will it be
because I wasn't right or best for the leads, or is it that the people
who got the leads would
not accept the chorus, so again this was the best way to maximize.
Both ways I'm left without the definitive result of the competition.
Which, oddly enough, I thought I was forcing by saying no to other roles.
Ay, carumba. Of course, I guess in the chorus I'd lean toward thinking,
yeah, I was bested. Because at the callback, I was asked to leave before
reading any scenes. I guess that works both ways, too. If I do get one of
the leads, I'd wonder if I was really the best choice, otherwise, why
have the rest of the guys stick around to read scenes, but not me. OK, that
pretty much convinces me. It's not a definitive, "you're not as good
as this other dude", but then, that would be kind of rude to hear.
So I think I've managed to read between the lines.
That all seems pretty whiny. And a lot of agita over, what, a little
community theater production. What, am I in, like, high school, or
something? But I do like the competition part. I'd
just like more of a clear winner. Well, I guess I've pretty well reasoned
that out, though, haven't I. Time to just have fun and quit trying
to win. Maybe I can just find auditions on a regular basis
to get that competitive rush, with no intention of being in the shows!
OK, then maybe it's not about winning either; just the rush
of the audition process. It's -- to a lesser degree -- kind of like
sitting there in the fastest finger round, waiting for that question,
trying to get the answer in before everyone else. (Of course, there
we do get a clear winner.) Maybe I could find a ping pong tournament
or something.
One thing that I shouldn't forget: dang, I abandoned my master
plan at the first, slightest suggestion by someone who didn't
even know I had a plan. Don't make me a general.
The best part of the night was, after I left, one
of the chicks, probably high school age, who had just left, saw me in
the hallway. She actually said something like, "I'll bet you get
the Rooster part." That was pretty nice to hear. I didn't tell
her they just asked me to leave before they started having the guys
do line readings. But I did tell her I doubted it would turn
out that way, since I have my
own guess of top possibilities. On the other hand, I told her, I've
never been very good at picking who gets what part and I'm usually
wrong when I try. And that seems like a good way to end this essay.
(Op ed piece? Diatribe? I think I'm getting paid by the word tonight.)
17 May 2004
Here we go. Step 3 of my four part plan for being in a summer show
is under way. Of course, if any part of the plan worked out, I'd stop there,
so let's hope we don't get to step 4. And, as in steps 1 and 2, once again
I've put severe limitations on my chances by saying I'll only
take one of the two main male roles. But that just gives me more of that
old competitive rush!
As far as I could tell, there were only 7 dudes at the audition tonight.
(Did I mention it's for "Annie"? Holy community theater cliché,
Batman! Instead of running from it, I decided to embrace it.)
Two of the guys were high school
age and three (including me) were older. That
may sound like good odds, but that means 5 people probably going
for those 2 roles (plus whoever shows up tomorrow). Sure, the chicks
(over 40 of them tonight) are thinking we've got it so easy, but even
those great numbers are a trial for me. And although
it felt as if my audition was 100% better than what I did at
"Cinderella", all of the guys tonight have potential. We'll just have to
see. I did get a callback to sing the Rooster part -- but I think the
high school guys are also doing that. Danged kids! :)
16 May 2004
It was a short run, but I think the just concluded production
of "Take Five" went pretty danged diddley well. The same goes
for our companion piece, "A Coupla Bimbos Sittin' Around Talkin'".
The two shows both got their laughs -- different kinds of laughs
to be sure -- but each had good audience response. Even as
mainly the straight man, I got a few chuckles,
like when I try to hang up the coats and the flat tips over and
I struggle to get it back in place. Ah, yes. Comedy is easy, math
is hard. Wait, that's not how that goes. But now what. Is that
all there is?
03 May 2004
Delusions of Grandeur: Strike 2. This time I went to the audition
for "West Side Story" at the College of Lake County. No one was
surprised, and most definitely not I, when I was asked to leave
with the first group,
which was identified as the first cuts. After all, I said I only
wanted to audition for Tony. What moxie! But really, it seemed to
me to be the only principal role that didn't require lots of that
"Broadway musical" type of dancing, which I'm not all that comfortable
with. (Assuming the play's like the movie, I suppose there are
the cops and the candy store owner, but those seem like pretty
small parts -- although it has been a long time since I've seen
the movie.) There were plenty of fresh young faces down to the
college tonight, I tell you what, and plenty
who could sing and dance. I was satisfied just to go through it.
And happy to realize (not delusionally, I hope) that my singing
compared favorably to several of the kids. There were several
better, of course, but I wasn't the worst. Anyway, tonight (tonight) was
all part of
the continuing plan. Now the question is, do I stick with the plan and wait
until the audition after next to go back to saying I'd take roles
other than the desired ones. The plan was to go one more time
seeking specific role(s) or nothing; which could kind of lead to
strike 3, destroying the little baseball metaphor (if that's even
the proper term) with which we started this paragraph, since
strike 3 in this case would not mean I'm out. Oh, well.
19 Apr 2004
That was an adventure. Well, with a small "a". And it didn't leave
me with much a a story to tell. I auditioned for "The Music Man" tonight
with the TownSquare Players
(in Woodstock). It was only a matter
of time before my perfect audition record was ended (4-4 and then no more).
Of course, I hastened it along by saying that I was only interested in the
two lead roles. Heck, I'm not driving all the way to Woodstock four times
a week to be Concerned Iowa Citizen #2. For goodness sake. And I probably
didn't enhance my desirability by listing 5 date conflicts with the
audition schedule. The next thing I audition for will have rehearsals
starting after "Take Five".
Am I delusional trying only
for one of the two male leads? Unfortunately, I don't know how
I can find that out. I mean, who's going to come right out
and tell you that. I must say that my singing was better than my
audition for "Cinderella". And as far as my #1 audition strength (i.e.
being a guy), I don't even know how many dudes were there.
People were waiting in two separate rooms; where I waited (for an hour
and a half) there were 3
or 4 likely competitors. Everyone auditioned individually in a third
room, so I got no idea how good they were. No reading, just singing part
of whatever song you wanted. I actually prepared, but only by singing
along with the soundtrack; which didn't seem exactly the same as the
sheet music they handed me. But then, the Harold Hill character's
singing isn't all that melodically challenging. Still, I managed to
mess up one note. On the other hand, what's one little note. So,
why am I pretty sure my audition record is broken? All the leads
have to be available for the callback. I heard half a dozen people in
the waiting area get info about coming to the callback before they were
told they could leave. But for me, they just told me I could go.
18 Apr 2004
I'm not making any claims, but for all you know, the world
wants this information. What's on my TiVo season pass:
Best Week Ever -- VH1
Saturday Night Live -- NBC
King Of The Hill -- Fox
The Simpsons -- Fox
Arrested Development -- Fox
Aqua Teen Hungerforce -- Cartoon Network
Space Ghost: Coast To Coast -- Cartoon Network
Home Movies -- Cartoon Network
Deadwood -- HBO
The Sopranos -- HBO
24 -- Fox
Star Trek: Enterprise -- UPN
World Poker Tour -- Travel Channel
Survivor: All-Stars -- CBS
Is that too much TV? I think I can make the time.
10 Apr 2004
What does my TiVo (happy customer since July 2000) save for me? Well,
lots. A shorter list is shows I have it looking for that I should
probably remove. We may have seen the last of "Ed", "Boston Public",
"Line of Fire", and "Wonderfalls".
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