Danblog (Oct-Dec 2003)

Albert: I performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed, let's see. Beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat, and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio. Cooper: Albert, you're making a joke. Albert: I like to think of myself as one of the happy generations. -- "Twin Peaks"

19 Dec 2003
Over the last several weeks I've been playing this new game, The Sword Of Rome. (We actually started playing Oct. 23.) It usually takes a few hours, but we've been playing in this discussion board (find the link for The Sword Of Rome near the bottom), which is kind of like playing by e-mail, except anyone can follow along. Since it's a new game, that kind of lets people get a feel for it. Anyway, the whole thing takes place in ancient Italy or whatever it was called then. I'm Greece, which means I control most of the southern territory at the beginning of the game. The danged Romans just sent troops in to siege one of my towns, Neapolis, so I rushed some guys up there via the port at Syracuse and kicked them out, killing half their troops in the process. Take that, Rome!

13 Dec 2003
The Waukegan Community Players are doing this play, mostly geared towards kids, called "The Snow King". A week before it started, I volunteered to help out by running the sound & light stuff. What's gotten into me??? Tonight was the second of two shows at Round Lake Area Park District's Community Center, and it turned out pretty well. I may have missed a cue here or there and maybe cut off a sound sooner than necessary -- it's not like I had a lot of time to prep -- but I don't think anyone really noticed. Next weekend there are three shows at the Jack Benny Center For The Performing Arts, which is in Bowen Park in Waukegan. Whoa, Jack Benny?

Jack Benny: I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis, and I don't deserve that, either.

08 Dec 2003
The cast list was posted today. I was right on in my thoughts about the prince. But not quite when it came to the king. They seem to have listed me as the king in the Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater production of "Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella". That's cool. Maybe the king doesn't have to do any singing. :)

It seems like a pretty big show. There were about 50 people posted on the cast list. As unfamiliar as I am with stage musicals, I don't know if all those people will stick with it until opening night. But if they do, it's a good thing this is on a high school auditorium stage and not in the senior citizen room at the community center.

07 Dec 2003
Callbacks for "Cinderella" were today. There were 4 guys and like 20 chicks there. (The fact that there are 5 male roles and a need for some dudes in the chorus means they must have decided on some guys that they want without needing to see them a second time.) The most amazing thing for me was that someone (not the decision makers) told me -- without prompting -- that I was the only guy in tune during the singing part. I don't know if that's so, but it was good to hear. I wouldn't say I was great or anything, but I think I was competitive and better than Friday -- my opinion, if no one else's. It helped that, by then, I was pretty relaxed because I had realized (or decided?) that there wasn't a major part for me. My observation of the way things were going -- and the way the auditioners were being directed -- gave me a clear idea of who will be the prince and the king. And I mean that in the nicest, most non-negative way that I can. On the other hand, I have a pretty bad record of anticipating what directors are thinking.

06 Dec 2003
Why do I torture myself? I went back to the scene of the karaoke. It happened to be the finals of the contest from a few weeks ago, so I was there to see my theater buddies who were in the finals. Actually 4 of them made the finals (out of 12), but only 2 of them were there to participate. One came in 2nd. But they still had the regular non-contest singing and I for whatever reason tried again. This time I went with "Hungry Heart". That doesn't have much singing, just the same melody over and over, verse and chorus, it's all the same. I guess it wasn't too bad; definitely not as bad as in the past. But I still don't really know since I can't listen to it played back. And I wasn't about to ask anyone because, after all, what could they possibly say. When will it end? When people stop encouraging me!

05 Dec 2003
Tonight was the audition. I didn't think it was possible, but I was able to both blow and suck. It's difficult to imagine that the practicing made any difference. But it's all relative. And when there are only 6 male auditioners for 5 roles -- of course, there's another audition tomorrow -- you may have to compare relative levels of suckiness. I was told to go to the callback Sunday, which means at least that I have a second shot at it. It might be a shot at the King, though. It appears, from what I was told to prepare for Sunday, that my lifelong dream of being Prince Charming in a community theater production of "Cinderella" may be beyond reality, whether due to my advanced age, or my singing/acting, um, abilities. Naturally, if I had my own kingdom, the age difference wouldn't stop me from putting the slipper on Cinderella's foot. It's my kingdom, after all. And I'm sure Cinderella would prefer someone with my financial resources and living experience rather than someone her own age. But I don't actually have a kingdom. And neither does my father.

01 Dec 2003
I'm back! Well, I never really left.

I went to an "audition workshop" tonight for the Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater production of Rodgers & Hammerstein's "Cinderella". The point of it was to explain the audition process, which I don't suppose I really needed. But they also gave out the materials that will be used in the actual audition, so my cold reading won't really be all that cold. More importantly, I won't be doing a totally unprepared performance of the audition song, as I would in a karaoke bar. Now, whether the advance prep will be enough to overcome my limitations as a singer is yet to be seen. I know I'm no Josh Groban. Unfortunately, there are esentially really only 2 principal roles for dudes: the king and the prince. And the question of whether anyone would buy me as the, um, charming Prince Charming is a good one. But doggone it, I can get to rehearsals on time!

A week from now we'll know what type of person really can be the charming prince. OK, technically, there's a good chance we won't really know, since I don't know most people at these auditions, but you know what I mean.

One more thing. What was the deal with all those little kids at this workshop? It seemed so crowded in there. Half the people looked like potential high school aged Cinderellas -- ooh la la -- and the other half looked like pre-teens, who wouldn't be right for any speaking roles. (Plus there were a couple assorted seasoned women and one or two dudes.)

13 Nov 2003
The last show Sunday was probably the best yet. The crowd was clearly the largest of the run, maybe even twice the normal 30-35? And now it's done. Last week I missed having the rehearsals to go to, but I still had the upcoming weekend shows to look forward to. Now there's nothing. Yeah, cry me a river. Now I need something fresh to look forward to. It's all about what's next.

At the risk of repeating myself, that was fun. As I told the kid at my 3rd failed audition to get on the accursed "Millionaire", the one I went to NYC for, I'd much rather do some kind of acting or music thing than a real job. (But, then, who wouldn't.) And that was before I auditioned for "The Mousetrap".

09 Nov 2003
The play seems to be going great, but, glutton for punishment that I am, I returned to the scene of the karaoke debacle last night and tried again. This time I did pick songs more suitable to my, um, abilities ("Istanbul, Not Constantinople" and "Amish Paradise") and the outcome was a little better, although nothing to write home about. Clearly it would get better if I had time to practice the songs, although probably nothing like what's coming out of these drunken songbirds. I mean, a lot of people in this bar on a Saturday night take it seriously and they do an excellent job. Their voices are strong, their pitch is perfect, and "confident" doesn't do justice to their demeanor.

But what really occurred to me is how talented the other people in the play are. They can act and sing and, no doubt they can dance too. Which takes some getting used to, because if my other friends have any artistic talent, they certainly don't flaunt it. I'm used to people who seem genuinely amazed at the goofiest little thing that I attempt. You know, making me the big fish. But around the people in this show, I'm like a tadpole in the ocean. And a sickly tadpole at that. And that's kind of daunting, no? Because it's not like I've followed my dream to Hollywood or Broadway or Music City USA or some place. I'm only here in suburban Lake County, Illinois. I probably should have started this, like, twenty years ago. Or something.

Yes, 20 years ago. Excellent.

02 Nov 2003
Wow, that was much better. I felt really good during and after last night's show. (You've been following along, yes? "The Mousetrap", Round Lake Area Park District Community Theater.) Even though there were more glitches (props, dropped lines) than opening night, I thought the cast covered them well. I probably started one of them, inadvertently, when I zoned out. I still got my line out, but after a "dramatic" pause instead of right away. Maybe that threw everyone else off, because right after that a chunk of dialogue got lost. Luckily, our Detective Trotter, who was interrogating everyone anyway, kind of improvised us back to the script.

A night that's going along perfectly cannot be allowed to continue, right? For the second night in a row, some of us went to a bar with karaoke. I avoided singing the first night, but I gave in last night and did a couple songs, proving that it wasn't false modesty on my part refusing to do it the first night. It wasn't devastating, but it was pretty bad and I would have been better off staying off that stage. Especially when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who can actually sing. Really well. That's why I tend to say that, yes, I "sing" on my band's songs. I do enough to get by, but I don't plop myself down and do a song straight through in one take the first time. Besides, the vocal stylings aren't the focus. Anyway, the cool part was that there was a contest going on and 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prizes all went to people associated with the play!

01 Nov 2003
That was pretty good, what? I think I only missed a couple short lines and we recovered from them pretty smoothly. Now that the first one is out of the way, perhaps I can attack tonight's show with vigor and enthusiasm. After all, should there not be some kind of rush? Can I no longer feel anything? Could the failures of the past finally have broken my spirit? Alas, poor Yorick! OK, I don't know what that means. But for now I'd rather just make up an excuse and blame an abundance of antihistamines (among other helpful helpers) for my logy (or, perhaps, lackadaisical is a better term) detachment. On the other hand -- there's always another hand -- those things didn't seem to alter my performance, so who knows. Another excuse is always right around the next corner.

31 Oct 2003
Overture, curtains, lights.
This is it, the night of nights.
No more rehearsing and nursing a part.
We know every part by heart.

Well, here's hoping that's true. On with the show. This is it.

23 Oct 2003
I just love this song by Three Days Grace. You can't download it, but you can play the whole song. I suppose it's not too hard to imagine why I like it so.

I hate everything about you.
Why do I love you?

Thanks, MTV2. I wouldn't have known about it if not for the rock countdown. For all I know it's on the radio every hour, but who listens to radio any more.

19 Oct 2003
It's only two weeks until Showtime At The, well, at the Round Lake Area Park District Community Center. Step One to being the next Fred Thompson!

Like, what's happened in the last two weeks? Tempus fugit, I suppose. The Bengals blew a game against the Bills. (Why not run a few plays at the end of regulation instead of waiting for OT? Why choose to receive the ball in OT instead of going with the wind, which has been so strong that it affected every part of the game?) I actually had a longer rant about that, but I must have not copied it over to this file and now I've overwritten it. Other than that, um, what was the question?

04 Oct 2003
Hmm. Another rehearsal. Another day wondering. The "actors" in the play seem to be able to turn on their anger or their sorrow. Well, at an rate, they convince me. Fortunately I have the part that requires the least display of emotions, but I'm still expected to get some kind of anger worked up for a minute or two. Brutal. Conversely, and maybe understandably, my favorite part of the whole thing ... well, I don't want to give it away. But I think it's the one scene in the show that everyone else kind of derides and mocks. But it's easily my favorite little scene. Hey, maybe you should try to guess what it is.

Far out! I never knew how good "Death Wish" actually was. It's possible I'd never seen it before. It wasn't enough to have thugs kill his wife and traumatize his daughter into a mental case; Charles Bronson starts out as an admittedly bleeding heart liberal who was a conscientious objector in the Korean War. But when he becomes "The Vigilante", muggings drop almost in half -- information that the police naturally want to keep from the public. But the great thing is that this blatantly pro-self defense, anti-crime movie doesn't end with some kind of feel-good liberal conversion, or morality lesson that negates everything that happened throughout the film, or even any kind of punishment for the main character. It's easy to see why this was/is popular; not so easy to see how it ever got made.

03 Oct 2003
I got a new version of the poster for "The Mousetrap" that makes it clear that it's 5 bucks for everyone and that tickets are available at the door. 5 bucks? Why, that's less than half the price of the big village community theaters!

I can't believe how much trouble I'm having this year getting my insurance to pay for medical supplies. I went years without any problems, and this year, since January, every single claim for medical supplies has required 1-3 phone calls to straighten it out. They ought to get it right the first time. It's not like they're doing charity work. I found out the premiums they collect -- you know, the real premium, what the employee pays plus the extra unseen amount the employer chips in -- is over 300 bucks a month for a single; a thousand bucks for a family. That's a lot of dough when you think of all the people in a large group plan.

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